Suddenly in the field of my peripheral vision I see a dark
woman stringing many colored beads together. Adorning herself and her daughter
with those glistening rocks, she disappears with the little girl just around
the corner of a stream beyond the Cathedral Rock. Who is this exquisite woman, sharp, thin and
liquid limbed, so serene and so at home with her motherhood? She looks so much like the “Indian” woman in
the children’s book “How the Stars Fall into the Sky.” It narrates a Navaho
legend about a coyote and the first woman who writes the laws in the sky using
her jewels. Native Americans remind people
they are not “Indians.” In this vast country myriad different tribes flourished
before their near decimation. Navaho, Hopi, Yavapai, Sinagua are the names of diverse
ancient Pueblo people of the American Southwest whose invisible presence
haunted me while in Sedona where I spent a month under the spell of its rocky
redness.
I must be conjuring up this brown woman. I am sitting far
north in New York where no visible signs of “Indians” exist. Well, not quite;
there is a sign for a school called Pequenakonck Elementary right off the road
from my home. Our boys went there when we moved in this neighborhood in 1997,
near a place called Peach Lake. I was
too busy commuting to a native place called Pomonok/Long Island and raising my
family to have learned at that time that this area was a part of the Mohegans,
another native people. Thanks to the
Wiki, I now know that in the 17th century the lake was called
Pehquenakonck. It turned to Peach Pond from an “Indian” word “Pech-Quen”; then
it became Peach Lake. How little this Indian knows about the lost people of
this land!
When this Indian arrived here almost 28 years ago as a disoriented
new bride, one of my first shocks of recognition came from a man in the local
mall who inquired about my identity. When
I said Indian, he asked, which tribe? I was taken aback; it took me a few
seconds before I figured out that he did not see me as a ‘fresh off the boat’ immigrant
from India but as an inhabitant of this primeval land. I did learn in school about them whom the
British pejoratively called “Red Indians,” but I never actually had connected
the dots between the confused misnomer given to the native people of the Americas
and my “ethnic” identity.
This country has helped me dissolve my narrow self in the
paradoxical process of asking for my identity because it forced me to speak of my
relationship with the Great Cosmic Mother. Attempting to articulate my
identity, I wrote about Kali and myriad forms of the Great Goddess of India. On another sabbatical this year to translate
Bengali songs of Kali written by a Muslim poet, I searched for a writer’s
retreat. Thanks to my dear friend Jayana Clerk’s kind hospitality I thought I
had a perfect spot to work on my academic project, but from the very first day,
Sedona engulfed me within its enchanted spaces.
Nestled within its magical blood rocks, Sedona appears suddenly
as you take the turn beyond the highway from Phoenix or Flagstaff. These sandstone
formations shaped in the Permian period are breathtakingly gorgeous. The play
of light and shadow and changing colors on them from red, yellow, orange to an
ethereal blue black at dusk are so magnificent that they could make even a most
literal person effusively poetic. Named after the wife of the city’s first
postmaster, Sedona has now become a favorite haunt of all kinds of seekers, but
it was inhabited by humans since the 12th millennium BCE. Their rock art reminds people of their
continuous presence in the land. Although
I had passed through the city many years ago with my family, and fleetingly
enjoyed its delicate aesthetics, I was not prepared for my astounding
experiences this time.
I discovered that the entire town of Sedona was a kind of
Kiva, a space of religious ceremonies, where native people never lived because
it was too sacred; they inhabited the surrounding areas and came only for their
rituals. I was informed that to the Yavapai it was the womb of the First Woman,
a maize plant that emerged out of the “Montezuma Well” and created her first
offspring. Jayana brought me to this
Well in the next town; it is an exquisite sylvan lake, a continuous source of
underground spring water with surrounding cave dwellings. We also saw the
Montezuma Castle, a 900 years old multistoried, abandoned “apartment complex.”
I learned that these habitations had nothing to do with the Aztec king,
Montezuma. People and their histories
get re-“christened” but traces remain to haunt the imagination of unwary
travelers.
Arizona is a state that is most famous for the Grand Canyon
but one has to tarry in many little canyons around Sedona and at least see the
Petrified Forest and the Painted Desert to get an appreciation for this
prehistoric landscape. Canyons are uncanny
formations and they never stop mystifying us. According to our geological
understanding, the movement of water and wind by sheer force of erosion creates
these extraordinary monuments of grace and beauty. The watery ways of Yin seeps
into these hard rocks and softens their contours slowly, but inevitably,
turning a piece of stone into magnificent art that delights the eye.
The human eye is an exquisite receiver that can access the
profound message of beauty, peace and our at-one-ness with the cosmos. If only it is undisturbed by our messy mind
stuff/brain chatter/chittavritti that
are bolstered by excessive investment in anthropocentric and egocentric ideologies.
For me the desert of Arizona presented desperately beautiful paradoxes of color
and shape that could nudge the mind toward its natural crystal clarity.
Let us meet a character from a culture that understood
humans as just another being among many other beings, not the overlord and
master of feminine Nature. Misnamed Kokopelli is a mesmerizing figure whose
flute music can easily transport you to other dimensions of reality. It is “a
Hopi katsina (‘respected spirit’) associated with fertility and rain.” It seems that Kokopelli is made up of at least
500 different depictions of a prehistoric flute playing, hump backed figure,
found in the petroglyphs of the vast Southwestern US.
In a book that my husband picked up during his wanderings in
this area called Kokopelli: The Magic,
Mirth, and Mischief of an Ancient Symbol, Dennis Slifer explains that the spiral
seen in the heart of many rock figures may represent the “breath of life.” For
this Indian, the mischief making flute player could very well be an echo of Krishna,
and the geometry of the spiral is a symbol of deep yogic turning within,
brought about by the movement of ‘prana’, the breath of life.
This turning, in a flash of recognition,
reveals - ‘thou art that’--that tree, that roadrunner, that serpent, that sky,
those stars and that profound emptiness. As I watched the blood moon on the
night of the lunar eclipse when the star studded sky of Sedona was aglow with
an ethereal sense of union, I wondered if I heard Krishna Kokopelli’s flute or
Katchina Kali’s wild laughter, just under the elegant silhouette of the Bell
Rock.
When in the process of deep meditation, a frightening abyss
yawns and the hissing serpent of your consciousness expands its hood beyond the
firmament of your being, you re-cognize the Great Mother and understand her
tremendous love that my kind of Indians call “Maya.” To protect you from the
great emptiness of her womb until you are ready, she engulfs you in her playful
Maya or lila, that is often called an
illusion. My guru Khepababa explicates Maya, this most misinterpreted word. He says “Maa-Yaa is Spontaneity - Sahaja.
Maa-The Void. Yaa - She Who Is.”
Alan Watts, who truly understood Hindu,
Buddhist and Daoist yogic ways, leads us to the Latin root of the word illusion-
ludus, play! The Great Mother in her
countless forms, plays! Along with her beloved Shiva, she dances the cosmic
dance of creation and annihilation in the same moment. But alas, her human
children often forget to play and lose the spontaneity of the child whose play,
like her Great Mother’s, has no purpose.
It must have been that Maya spun out by the Yavapai Mother
that made me run out practically every morning toward the Bell Rock and the
Courthouse Butte in the Village of Oak Creek. Or was it that crazy vortex
people speak of? One morning I spent three and a half hours circumambulating
that entire space, lost to time with no sense of myself. Drawn desperately into a reality that defies
logic, I found myself communing with what appeared to be an extremely ancient Mother
Spirit that envelops the entire landscape.
I recollected a recently departed woman whom I was lucky to
meet when I reached Sedona. Laura, a magnificent
and youthful 90 year old African American community leader, who had saved many drifting
lives, had just died peacefully. Since I was preoccupied with Nazrul Islam’s
songs of Kali, I thought I must be dreaming of my Dark Goddess in this land of stunning
cacti, run away desert quail and magnificent ravens that seem to accompany me
every day.
I discovered India and her goddesses had seeped into Sedona
quite effortlessly along with Buddhist practices. Why else would
people want to hear me talk about Freedom and the Feminine in India’s Tantric
traditions? There were all kinds of goddess worshipping people there. I met an exuberant
Mary, an embodiment of the forest spirit of Artemis. Enthused by my talk, Avani,
an Ayurvedic practitioner, invited me to speak at a puja gathering. However, I was not prepared to meet Vajrayoginis
in Sedona!
At the home replete with innumerable Hindu and Buddhist
deities of a Greek tantric practitioner Zeffi Shaktimayi Devi, I met a whole
host of wonderful people including Shraddha, who invited us to her
extraordinarily nourishing yoga center. Later in the darkness of the new moon
night at Walker’s home, we circled the labyrinth of the Virgin Mary modeled
after the Chartres Cathedral. Jayana told me that to some practitioners of
Indian spiritual traditions, Sedona is Siddha Vana or the forest of the enlightened
beings!
Thinking about India, I see another dusky woman traveling
with her family on a train somewhere in South India. Ready to tuck her kids in for the night, she
saw these white pillow cases provided by the railways. She could not stand the
lack of color. She knew in her inner most being- man does not live by a clean
white pillow alone. She must have internalized the beauty of Sri Lakshmi, the
goddess of peace and true prosperity.
She took out her sewing case and embroidered a little green parrot on
it. Her son gazed at that beautiful bird
and slept peacefully. That son, who
joyfully remembers this, is known today worldwide as Jaggi Vasudeva, Sadhguru
of Isha Foundation who is transforming the environmental, economic, educational
and spiritual landscape of India.
Little Jaggi’s mother inhabited the Sri principle, a
profoundly beautiful aspect of sometime terrifying Great Mother I know as Kali. As I took my breaks from translation and hung
out with Jayana whom I have known for over 20 years as a colleague, I genuinely
connected with her. Her home is full of precious artifacts from around the
world and yet radiates profound simplicity; it epitomizes Sri, the beauty of
Tripurasundari, the Goddess of Saundaryalahari,
waves of abundant beauty.
As a pioneering woman from India who went to England in 1960
and came here for her Ph.D. at Columbia University in the seventies, Jayana raised
her own sisters after her parents’ death and takes care of her large extended
family. She followed her heart into
Sedona in the 90s, abruptly leaving her teaching job in Baruch College in New
York City baffling her friends and family.
A world traveler, today she is a novelist, poet, a teacher of global
harmony and a sadhika with the joy and laughter of a child. She was getting
ready for her three week trip to Italy as I was ending my Sedona sojourn.
Jayana Behn played the real Yavapai Mother of the Verde
Valley for me since the Mother Principle everywhere nourishes the being, the
spirit, without which all the luxuries of the world are utterly meaningless. Watching
a documentary film Watermark just
before I left, Jayana and I heard the plea for a greater awareness of the impending
desertification of the area and looming environmental disaster. Returning home
I was happy to catch up with a dark man on Television, an astrophysicist
shaman named Neil deGrasse Tyson telling the tale of the “Cosmos: A Spacetime
Odyssey.” We need to listen to scientists like him reminding us that we are the
planet, made of star dust and responsible for our world if we want to keep the Verde
Valley of our planet truly verdant.
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